Funny One-liners

FUNNY ONE - LINERS The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.   Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. Archeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he becomes in her. There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot. They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry ? Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married... and then it was too late Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.