Cow Sense

If you have two cows, you need some cow sense to do business!

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION

You have two cows. 

You sell one and buy a bull. 

Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. 

You sell them and retire on the income. 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows. 

You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. 

You are surprised when the cow drops dead. 

A FRENCH CORPORATION 

You have two cows. 

You go on strike because you want three cows. 

A JAPANESE CORPORATION 

You have two cows. 

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. 

You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them worldwide. 

A GERMAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows. 

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. 

A BRITISH CORPORATION 

You have two cows. 

Both are mad. 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. 

You break for lunch. 

A SWISS CORPORATION 

You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you. 

You charge others for storing them. 

A CHINESE CORPORATION 

You have two cows. 

You have 300 people milking them. 

You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. 

You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested. 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows.  

You worship them. 

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows. 

You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre. 

Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the   supply. 

When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again

and now want RM1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk. 

They go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead. 

Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister. 

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows. 

One cow-peh and one cow-bu

U can read German

Absolutely Brilliant The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the  British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for  improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become  known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will  replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump  with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should  klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There  will be growing publik enthusiasm in  the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f"..  This will make words like fotograf 20%  shorter. In the  3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted  to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are  possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double  letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate  speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the  silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go  away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such  as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz  yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from  vords kontaining "ou"  and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil  sensi bl riten  styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil  find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali  kum tru. Und  efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze  forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza  pepl .....